Jordan - Bat Boy!

This weekend was much more enjoyable than last weekend for the Macias Family! Since last weekend's chemo treatments, Jordan has finally recovered, making it a weekend full of baseball.

Jordan was the bat boy for his brother, Tristen's traveling baseball team on both Saturday and Sunday. The minute I saw him pick up the first bat and jog out on the field, I must say...brought tears of much satisfaction and joy. It made me remember when we first brought him home from the hospital, he could barely walk, let alone jog. Jordan being out on the field and being apart of the team (even in their huddles) made me realize that ALL things are possible.

When Jordan is feeling well from the side effects of chemo, he gets stronger and stronger in all areas. He is more than ready now to be back on the baseball field playing once again. Soon this phase will end for this particular treatment, than we only have one more aggressive phase before he is on the maintenance phase. I can only hope, it won't hit it hard and set him back.

Friday morning, Jordan was one of four 4th graders at his school to win a bike in which Mrs. Matlock entered his name for the entry. He was able to go up in front of the school and see friends, teachers, and parents who may not have seen Jordan in a while. This made Jordan really happy, plus any chance he gets to go to school makes him so excited.

Unfortunately, we are due back Monday and Tuesday for another round of chemo. It is a repeat of what he's been having and thankfully, no spinal tap is due.

Jordan easily gets bored at home not going to school and playing sports, so this weekend was much needed to recharge and reset his mind. If there's, one thing I noticed about him, he's strong and he's a fighter.

He has told me before he is stronger than me which I know has truth to it. The other day, he was messing around on the computer and he just kept on writing over and over again: Jordan is strong, Jordan is strong. He probably wrote it 40 times...we should all take lessons from him. I know I should.

More Chemo

Jordan had more chemo on Friday and Saturday. On Friday, Jordan was admitted into hospital for another spinal tap along with chemo inserted into his spine during this procedure. While he was asleep for the spinal tap they also inserted another pic line in the opposite arm. The surgeon thoughts still remain the same and he feels Jordan is still not ready for the port in his chest yet. Hopefully, when we get to the maintenance phase, possibly around February, we can start this discussion again about the port.

We had to go back to hospital on Saturday for more chemo, this time two more injections in each thigh. Of course, all side effects kicked in by Saturday night and his eating stopped. It's now Monday morning and I can see that Jordan is starting to come around very slowly.

For all you prayer warriors out there - while yes, we need prayers for the leukemia to stay in remission permanently and for weight to come on, we also need Jordan to be protected from the aggressive flu season that is upon us. I am stunned with how many families have been hit so hard with the flu already. Jordan cannot afford to get anything right now, especially with his immune system so suppressed. He needs protection in all areas.

Thank you to all for your continued support and prayers, they are so needed right now. More than you'll ever know.

It's Tough

A lot of people have been asking about Shawn's job and fortunately, he got hired on with the new company. Most importantly, the medical insurance stayed the same and we were able to stay with Kaiser, which was huge because we did not want to switch with Jordan being in the middle of treatments.

People ask me as well, how's Tristen doing ...He has chose to keep his thoughts private from the blog right now, and I told him that's OK. Often I refer to him and his brother as two bookends - they don't work without each other.

Also...many people ask me how I am doing and I respond with my famous words, "I'm hanging in." I think as a mother, it hits you worse. I have good days and bad days, it seems more bad... and to be honest with you, most days I feel like I don't even want to get out of bed and face my day. But thankfully, I have a wonderful support system with great friends and family and a wonderful husband that motivates me and encourages me when I think I can't do it. He is defiantly the back bone of our family.

I don't do a lot of research on leukemia, I simply choose to do my research in the word of God. I lean on the Lord's report and not the report of the doctor's. I can say that when we go in for chemo now, it's a bit easier. I guess you say I've accepted it. But before, at the beginning, it literally made me ill.

When we lost my sister, Tami, to breast cancer, when she only 37, I thought OK...our family has now dealt with the worst thing possible, this has got to be it for us with our heartache. Well, I was wrong, I'm learning that life is not easy...It's full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, joys and heartache, achievements and disappointments. Right now for us, I have to believe this is just a season we are in and life will eventually get back to normal. My niece, Candace, tells me..a new normal now.

I often find myself looking through old pictures of Jordan...the ones with the shaggy hair, ones on vacations, him playing baseball, and ones with no scars on his neck and face from the echmo and ventilator. I don't know if this is good therapy for me or not, I often end up in tears but all I can say is...I keep going. You have to deal with what you've been dealt. I lean on the strength of the Lord and on his mercy and grace he gives everyday.

So, you see my Friends...I'm hanging in. No one said life would be easy. I defiantly look forward to the brighter days ahead, I just wish they were sooner rather than later.

Jordan Tolerating the Chemo

Jordan had chemo on Monday and Tuesday of this week. It is at a lower dose than the last chemo treatment but in all actuality it is supposed to be higher. Jordan has such a sensitivity to all the medicines used for the chemo, that the doctors modify according to the patient and their needs. They really do work to make their patients as comfortable as possible. I must say we have wonderful doctors and nurses that care deeply for Jordan. They love him, they are always humoring him, and want the weight to come on just as much as us. (Not to mention, they counsel me all the time!)

This time around, Jordan has seemed to not throw up as long - I'm sure it's due to the decreased chemo amount. His eating had decreased to nothing but we push the liquids and Popsicles non stop. He did start eating a bit this afternoon which is always a huge relief to us. My goal was not to make another trip to Fontana for the IV fluids and nauseous medicine. The going back and forth can be a bit challenging. His energy is definitely not there, he just lays around a lot and can not have his hour of school or even mess around with this brother. Hopefully tomorrow he'll feel better and his teacher can come and get his mind of the sickness.

Jordan always gets pale and gets the dark circles under his eyes during this time. He didn't see much sun this pass summer so he seems extra pale to me, I'm used to seeing him with that golden sun kissed tone, man...the day I can see that again!

His pic line mysteriously came out on Monday, so after a few x-rays and our second trip to Fontana that day, it was determined to remove it. The doctors will now discuss once again if it may be time to have the port surgically inserted into his chest. This would be better all the way around for him. We need to pray that the mass is small enough to do so, if not they will put another pic line in. His poor arm really needed a break from this, it had a pretty bad rash on it and it is already looking so much better. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

He made me happy this evening, while I was making potato cheese soup for dinner, he got up from the couch and asked if he could cut the carrots and potatoes and add to the soup. I thought he must be feeling a little better. You see, he's got a lot of time on his hands and watches a lot of the cooking channel...he thinks he a chef! That's OK, I'll take it! I love every moment I have with him and my family!

Family is so important! Enjoy your family, love on your family and most of all enjoy this upcoming fall season!

A Much Better Week!

Thankfully all is much better in the Macias home! Tristen is feeling well and back to school and Jordan is much much better since the last dose of chemo. No more throwing up and he's EATING!

Unfortunately he's back down to 54 lbs. Last week just really socked it to us. No chemo this week, although we did have to go to the doctors in Fontana twice for lab work and to change the dressing on his pic line. He seems to be having some sensitivity to the dressing, after all, his skin has not had a break from bandages and tape since June... so the nursers are trying some different techniques for some relief.

Jordan had the opportunity to go to an Angels game this week, he totally loved it and they won which makes it even better! Jordan indulged on a hot dog, pizza and tons of sunflower seeds. He had a great time with his Grandpa and Uncle Gary!

We are due for more chemo on Monday and Tuesday. We just try not to think about it until then, but believe me, my prayers have already started. The focus will be to enjoy the weekend only!

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers. In our house, we seem to never get a break from this, it feels like Shawn and I are constantly carrying this burden on our shoulders. We welcome the day when we can look back on this and praise God for carrying us through.

If you find yourself struggling, the only thing I can say is tomorrow is a new day, don't give up, God won't give us anything we can't handle.