Thanks to all that came out to the garage sale and supported Jordan's Cause. It was a huge success! Thank you to the generous people that donated money without buying anything at all and to the people that donated items to the sale just to help. Jordan was well enough most of the weekend to be there and meet some of his faithful supporters.

Jordan received chemo last Wednesday and is do back for a repeat this Wednesday. The effects of last week's chemo definitely kicked in, but not as bad as I've seen it in the past...thankfully. Come Saturday, he was pretty much back to himself. We should know what to expect with tomorrows chemo now and it seems he should be able to enjoy Thanksgiving somewhat. We will just have to be on top with the nauseous medicine. I think just being with cousins he hasn't seen in a while will lift his spirits and hopefully he will be distracted from feeling sick (at least that's what I'm hoping for). The next day back will be December 9th and it will be big, so we will definitely take advantage of the time off.

This Thanksgiving, I give thanks to LIFE my son has, when I think back to what could of been, my prayers instantly begin...giving thanks to God for his miraculous favor he had on Jordan's life and still has. We will never forget the MIRACLE that was given to us!

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Jordan received chemo this past Wednesday, it consisted of a spinal tap and when they are in there pulling the fluid from the spine, they also inject some chemo medicine. Once he came out of the anesthesia, we went back to the room where he received two more chemo medicines. After an eight hour day, the last thing was to change his pic line dressing and like always they don't like the rash they see, so once again we are changing how we apply the bandages and now switching to iodine to clean it and have to now change the dressing every other day rather than once a week. It seems to be helping, his rash is much better.

Unfortunately the throwing up started that evening while we were at home. The nurses always give him dose of zolfran before we leave for the nauseousness but it only lasts so long. When Jordan is sick like this Shawn and I take turns sleeping on the couch with him and pretty much stay up the entire night. We do find it frustrating though, because its very hard for Jordan to keep any of his meds down when he just vomits them right back up. We wish we could take the medicines home with us and give them to him in the pic line like the nurses do. It would make things so much easier! We also give Jordan ativan and benadryl when he is so sick and vomiting, this is recommended by the doctors, to relax him and make him sleep. When he can keep these all down, it does seem to take the edge off.

This time around, Jordan did not throw up as long but seemed to stay sick longer with laying around a lot and sleeping more. He finally started to feel better on Sunday. We are due back again this Wednesday for more. Thankfully, no spinal tap, he will get two chemo meds at the doctors office. The next treatment after that will be the following Wednesday which will be the day before Thanksgiving...yes, we are all bummed!

For Jordan's Cause, we will be having a garage sale at my sister and brother-in-law's house this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Their address is 35275 Wildwood Canyon Drive in Yucaipa. The nearest cross street is Bryant. All you garage sale shoppers...come on out!

Lastly...When Jordan was sick on Saturday with no life in him and feeling his weakest, I found the perfect bible verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9 and it talks about God's power working the best in our times of weakness. When I read this to Jordan, it brought tears to both of us, that verse was exactly the verse we needed to get us through that day. I'm so glad I found that seed to plant in Jordan's mind and heart, it helped reassure us we are not facing this battle alone...even in our times of weakness.

A Glimpse Of The Old Jordan

This past weekend, we were able to enjoy Jordan the most we have in a long time. The four of us were able to get away and stay at a campground with two other families in Temecula for Tristen's baseball tournament and yes...he was the bat boy. If it puts him on a baseball field, he'll do it. Jordan is as eager as ever to be playing ball again and being the bat boy just draws him closer to the field.

The break that Jordan has had from chemo has done wonders for him! His hair is growing back, his voice is coming back, his strength is coming back, his personality is coming back, and he's eating more than ever! For the first time, I'm finally seeing it...a glimpse of the old Jordan! I've been eagerly waiting for it and it brings so much relief to see that it can and will happen...I can't wait until he's back, fully restored and even better than ever!

We do however, start up an intensive phase this Wednesday for 62 days. It, like always, begins with being admitted to the hospital for a spinal tap along with other chemos. The doctors feel this phase (hopefully) can be done without any hospital stays overnight. This is a big deal to Jordan and us, considering we've had our fair share of staying in the hospital...we strongly hope those days are behind us.

Jordan has loved this time off as he has been able to be somewhat of a normal kid again. He was able to ride his scooter and actually play ball this weekend with his brother and buddies he camped out with. His Grandpa Henry and Grandma Tina were even able to come and stay one night with us.

On Sunday night we picked up the bike he won from his school, thanks to Mrs. Matlock, and on Monday he was getting back into his old groove of riding and jumping his ramps (taking it cautiously of course). He loves his new bike and it will be great for strengthening his leg muscles.

Jordan currently weighs 60lbs! This is the most since he left the hospital after his initial stay in July. We hope and pray this next phase will not set him back much. He is very much aware of the upcoming chemo and just goes along with it. I've got to hand it to him, he's a trooper all right. Whenever people ask him, "How are you doing?" he always responds with "Good" or he gives a "thumbs up". He never really lets on that this is hard for him. When he does have his bad days, we just reassure him this will all be over soon and life will get back to normal. He feels like sometimes it won't, because in his mind three years of maintenance therapy seems forever. We just keep comforting and reassuring him.

Jordan would like to say, "Thanks to all who keep reading his blog and thank you for everything that you've done for me."

In closing, please remember us in your prayers, as we really don't know what the next couple of months will bring. We've just got to get Jordan through these last stages of the heavy chemo.

A Welcomed Break

This past week we have had a nice, well welcomed break from chemo. Jordan only had chemo on Monday and Tuesdays chemo was canceled due to a reaction he had from the injections in his thighs. I am proud to say this phase is finished.

We have an appointment to meet with doctors this Thursdays to discuss this last phase of Jordan's aggressive chemo therapy treatment. Praise God!! I never thought I'd see these final days approaching, although I do believe this final phase will last all through the holidays.

Jordan is doing pretty well right now, with the exception of his low white blood count. His coloring looks pretty good and his spirits are great. He has been able to do things that keeps him busy and entertained. When he is felling well, it brings much relief to all of us, having days of somewhat normalcy reminds us of what living like a normal family is like once again.

I want to say thank to all the continued prayers that go out for Jordan. I have people telling me continuously they're still praying...it's good to know Jordan has not been forgotten as we still are in a fight. These prayers have lifted us up during days when we as a family have been at our lowest.

Once I get more details regarding this phase on how the doctors are going to approach this...I will defiantly let you all know.

God Bless

Jordan - Bat Boy!

This weekend was much more enjoyable than last weekend for the Macias Family! Since last weekend's chemo treatments, Jordan has finally recovered, making it a weekend full of baseball.

Jordan was the bat boy for his brother, Tristen's traveling baseball team on both Saturday and Sunday. The minute I saw him pick up the first bat and jog out on the field, I must say...brought tears of much satisfaction and joy. It made me remember when we first brought him home from the hospital, he could barely walk, let alone jog. Jordan being out on the field and being apart of the team (even in their huddles) made me realize that ALL things are possible.

When Jordan is feeling well from the side effects of chemo, he gets stronger and stronger in all areas. He is more than ready now to be back on the baseball field playing once again. Soon this phase will end for this particular treatment, than we only have one more aggressive phase before he is on the maintenance phase. I can only hope, it won't hit it hard and set him back.

Friday morning, Jordan was one of four 4th graders at his school to win a bike in which Mrs. Matlock entered his name for the entry. He was able to go up in front of the school and see friends, teachers, and parents who may not have seen Jordan in a while. This made Jordan really happy, plus any chance he gets to go to school makes him so excited.

Unfortunately, we are due back Monday and Tuesday for another round of chemo. It is a repeat of what he's been having and thankfully, no spinal tap is due.

Jordan easily gets bored at home not going to school and playing sports, so this weekend was much needed to recharge and reset his mind. If there's, one thing I noticed about him, he's strong and he's a fighter.

He has told me before he is stronger than me which I know has truth to it. The other day, he was messing around on the computer and he just kept on writing over and over again: Jordan is strong, Jordan is strong. He probably wrote it 40 times...we should all take lessons from him. I know I should.

More Chemo

Jordan had more chemo on Friday and Saturday. On Friday, Jordan was admitted into hospital for another spinal tap along with chemo inserted into his spine during this procedure. While he was asleep for the spinal tap they also inserted another pic line in the opposite arm. The surgeon thoughts still remain the same and he feels Jordan is still not ready for the port in his chest yet. Hopefully, when we get to the maintenance phase, possibly around February, we can start this discussion again about the port.

We had to go back to hospital on Saturday for more chemo, this time two more injections in each thigh. Of course, all side effects kicked in by Saturday night and his eating stopped. It's now Monday morning and I can see that Jordan is starting to come around very slowly.

For all you prayer warriors out there - while yes, we need prayers for the leukemia to stay in remission permanently and for weight to come on, we also need Jordan to be protected from the aggressive flu season that is upon us. I am stunned with how many families have been hit so hard with the flu already. Jordan cannot afford to get anything right now, especially with his immune system so suppressed. He needs protection in all areas.

Thank you to all for your continued support and prayers, they are so needed right now. More than you'll ever know.

It's Tough

A lot of people have been asking about Shawn's job and fortunately, he got hired on with the new company. Most importantly, the medical insurance stayed the same and we were able to stay with Kaiser, which was huge because we did not want to switch with Jordan being in the middle of treatments.

People ask me as well, how's Tristen doing ...He has chose to keep his thoughts private from the blog right now, and I told him that's OK. Often I refer to him and his brother as two bookends - they don't work without each other.

Also...many people ask me how I am doing and I respond with my famous words, "I'm hanging in." I think as a mother, it hits you worse. I have good days and bad days, it seems more bad... and to be honest with you, most days I feel like I don't even want to get out of bed and face my day. But thankfully, I have a wonderful support system with great friends and family and a wonderful husband that motivates me and encourages me when I think I can't do it. He is defiantly the back bone of our family.

I don't do a lot of research on leukemia, I simply choose to do my research in the word of God. I lean on the Lord's report and not the report of the doctor's. I can say that when we go in for chemo now, it's a bit easier. I guess you say I've accepted it. But before, at the beginning, it literally made me ill.

When we lost my sister, Tami, to breast cancer, when she only 37, I thought OK...our family has now dealt with the worst thing possible, this has got to be it for us with our heartache. Well, I was wrong, I'm learning that life is not easy...It's full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, joys and heartache, achievements and disappointments. Right now for us, I have to believe this is just a season we are in and life will eventually get back to normal. My niece, Candace, tells me..a new normal now.

I often find myself looking through old pictures of Jordan...the ones with the shaggy hair, ones on vacations, him playing baseball, and ones with no scars on his neck and face from the echmo and ventilator. I don't know if this is good therapy for me or not, I often end up in tears but all I can say is...I keep going. You have to deal with what you've been dealt. I lean on the strength of the Lord and on his mercy and grace he gives everyday.

So, you see my Friends...I'm hanging in. No one said life would be easy. I defiantly look forward to the brighter days ahead, I just wish they were sooner rather than later.

Jordan Tolerating the Chemo

Jordan had chemo on Monday and Tuesday of this week. It is at a lower dose than the last chemo treatment but in all actuality it is supposed to be higher. Jordan has such a sensitivity to all the medicines used for the chemo, that the doctors modify according to the patient and their needs. They really do work to make their patients as comfortable as possible. I must say we have wonderful doctors and nurses that care deeply for Jordan. They love him, they are always humoring him, and want the weight to come on just as much as us. (Not to mention, they counsel me all the time!)

This time around, Jordan has seemed to not throw up as long - I'm sure it's due to the decreased chemo amount. His eating had decreased to nothing but we push the liquids and Popsicles non stop. He did start eating a bit this afternoon which is always a huge relief to us. My goal was not to make another trip to Fontana for the IV fluids and nauseous medicine. The going back and forth can be a bit challenging. His energy is definitely not there, he just lays around a lot and can not have his hour of school or even mess around with this brother. Hopefully tomorrow he'll feel better and his teacher can come and get his mind of the sickness.

Jordan always gets pale and gets the dark circles under his eyes during this time. He didn't see much sun this pass summer so he seems extra pale to me, I'm used to seeing him with that golden sun kissed tone, man...the day I can see that again!

His pic line mysteriously came out on Monday, so after a few x-rays and our second trip to Fontana that day, it was determined to remove it. The doctors will now discuss once again if it may be time to have the port surgically inserted into his chest. This would be better all the way around for him. We need to pray that the mass is small enough to do so, if not they will put another pic line in. His poor arm really needed a break from this, it had a pretty bad rash on it and it is already looking so much better. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

He made me happy this evening, while I was making potato cheese soup for dinner, he got up from the couch and asked if he could cut the carrots and potatoes and add to the soup. I thought he must be feeling a little better. You see, he's got a lot of time on his hands and watches a lot of the cooking channel...he thinks he a chef! That's OK, I'll take it! I love every moment I have with him and my family!

Family is so important! Enjoy your family, love on your family and most of all enjoy this upcoming fall season!

A Much Better Week!

Thankfully all is much better in the Macias home! Tristen is feeling well and back to school and Jordan is much much better since the last dose of chemo. No more throwing up and he's EATING!

Unfortunately he's back down to 54 lbs. Last week just really socked it to us. No chemo this week, although we did have to go to the doctors in Fontana twice for lab work and to change the dressing on his pic line. He seems to be having some sensitivity to the dressing, after all, his skin has not had a break from bandages and tape since June... so the nursers are trying some different techniques for some relief.

Jordan had the opportunity to go to an Angels game this week, he totally loved it and they won which makes it even better! Jordan indulged on a hot dog, pizza and tons of sunflower seeds. He had a great time with his Grandpa and Uncle Gary!

We are due for more chemo on Monday and Tuesday. We just try not to think about it until then, but believe me, my prayers have already started. The focus will be to enjoy the weekend only!

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers. In our house, we seem to never get a break from this, it feels like Shawn and I are constantly carrying this burden on our shoulders. We welcome the day when we can look back on this and praise God for carrying us through.

If you find yourself struggling, the only thing I can say is tomorrow is a new day, don't give up, God won't give us anything we can't handle.

Chemo Has Hit Hard

Jordan is not doing so well after his last chemo treatments. He has been sick vomiting and not eating since Tuesday afternoon. We were at the doctor's office yesterday trying to relieve him of these symptoms but it only took the edge off. We were lucky enough to come home in the evening, however he just stayed the same. We will give it some time to see if today will be the turn around day for him, if not the doctor wants to admit us and start the IV fluids and nauseous medicine once again.

They will also start TPN which is basically food that goes through his veins which consists all the nutrients and fat that he needs to carry him through a period of not eating. Regular food going straight to his stomach would naturally be the best. This will all be based on if he can keep down his fluids and food today. So far, having a bit of luck, lets keep our fingers crossed. Jordan does not want to go back in the hospital, but we will if this will get him better sooner.

His brother Tristen has been home sick since Tuesday with the stomach flu and fever. This is want we were afraid of. Needless to say, this had not been a easy week for our family. We have sent Tristen over to his aunt's house to avoid spreading any germs but have let him come home at night keeping him in different rooms from Jordan. It's very hard when you want to nurture your sick child back to health and comfort them, at the same time not trying to spread the germs to the other one battling cancer and being hit with chemo to where his immune system is so low.

Shawn and I are trying to stay strong as we always look back to the miracle that Jordan is here with us now and we are a family of four again. We've been asking ourselves why us...this is not fair that little Jordan has to endure this. It really hit me hard last night when I saw tears rolling out of Jordan's eyes after he had fallen asleep but than I realized there are many people out there battling this sick disease of cancer.

I know it's not fair...you just gotta hang in there, hold on to your faith and know that God is always holding us in the palm of His hand.