It’s Monday morning, 4:30 am and I have hardly slept. My mind has every emotion you can think of…

The first two weeks of school for Jordan went very well. He was welcomed with open arms. By the second week, Jordan developed a runny nose and cough but it never got bad enough for medicine, I just hoped and prayed it wouldn’t turn into anything more. But approaching our third week of school, a fever put us in the hospital for one day and one night. We returned to the clinic the next day for doses of antibiotics incase a bacteria infection was brewing. Thankfully, no bacteria showed up in his blood cultures and the fever was just related to a common cold.

His counts were very low for the second time in a month so he was put on independent study for the week. Again, all chemo pills were stopped to give his body time to rest and recover. As much as he wanted to be back in school, it was too risky to send him. We are due back tomorrow to check his blood work.

Unfortunately, his hair has come completely out due to the radiation. His teacher has compassionately agreed to let Jordan wear his baseball hat in class…loosing his hair again has not been easy for him.

He is doing fine now and will return to school Tuesday. His travel ball team has already started their season without him, competing in their first tournament this weekend. His coach tells us to get him healthy again so he can join the team… the radiation has taken more of a toll on him then ever imagined and going back to school has been a huge adjustment for him…so playing baseball may not even be in the cards right now.

Ever since radiation, the past few weeks have set me back a bit. I feel myself spiraling down with a ton of emotions getting the best of me. I guess you can say seeing Jordan with a bald head again is a constant reminder that yes, I have a child that’s fighting cancer (even though it’s already been beat and we’re just going through the process now).

Do you all remember when Jordan spoke at a fundraising dinner for the Cancer Society? He was asked by friends we met, whose daughter had Leukemia as a teenager and ended up having the same doctors as Jordan. Well, it is with great regret to have just found out the cancer is back and she is now in need of a bone marrow transplant along with even more aggressive chemo therapy than before. Her name is Raeleen, she just tuned 20 and had just started her first week of school at Cal Baptism at the time of her relapse. She is an absolute beautiful young girl who now has to once again put her life and hopes on hold.

This news has set me back and I am completely devastated. I feel the pain of that family and her mother’s….I know exactly the despair and heartache they must be feeling as they walk those halls of Loma Linda. Thankfully, they are a family full of faith and completely trusting that God will see them through once again. I can only imagine what Raeleen may be feeling. I pray she has the fight left in her and that God will give her the strength she needs to endure a very difficult road. She and her family need prayers around the clock right now.

I know I usually leave off with something encouraging but I don’t have it in me. I am sick physically and mentally right now. I am trying very hard to cast all negative thoughts down and surrender all to God so I can be the mother and a wife I was called to be…it’s a lot easier to say then do when you’re in a world of hurt.  This news with Raeleen has been the last thing I needed to hear. She gave our family hope. I guess for now I’ll take the advice of her mom, written from their blog, to take one day at a time…

My Little Hero!

Hello all…I’m more than thrilled to announce that Jordan is done with radiation! We actually started it a week later then anticipated because of his counts being too low. But, oh how happy we are that his last treatment was this past Wednesday!

Last Sunday afternoon, when we got home from camping up in the mountains (to get a quick getaway in before school started and to give Jordan a change of scenery other than the radiation rooms at Kaiser), I read a wonderful comment made by Keri on the blog. She shared her story of her daughter that was diagnosed with T-Cell Leukemia almost 20 years ago and now how she’s being released from the care of her oncologist!

First off, I couldn’t even get through the first few sentences without crying. This comment meant so much to me in many ways. This is the first person who I have EVER came into contact with who’s child had T-Cell and to know she’s been a survivor for so long and is now being released from doctor’s care, was just what I needed to hear! So CONGRATULATIONS Keri on hearing those words that I’m sure you’ve longed to hear for so long. Your comment was a great encouragement to me and the rest of my family…including Jordan! Reading comments like this, reminds me that yes…I need to continue doing this blog!

Unfortunatly…the radiation did not go as smoothly as we thought it would. It was much more on Jordan then we ever anticipated…physically and mentally. He started feeling nauseous almost right from the beginning which brought back a whole flood of emotions for me. It brought back the times of undergoing the aggressive chemo and I caught myself questioning our judgment of even doing this radiation. I felt like I was torturing him all over again and not helping him. But when I read the comment from Keri and she said that not getting the radiation was not an option, I realized (with the help of Shawn and others) that it was indeed needed.

Thankfully, we only had to do it for eight days but I could definitely see the fear in Jordan’s face every time we went. It broke my heart seeing them lock the mask on his face each time and on several occasions when we would go back into his room to get him, he had tears that filled his mask. For a 10 year old this was traumatic (gosh, for an adult it would be traumatic). But by Gods strength he gave him each day to go in and do this, he overcame yet another phase in this journey with flying colors and now Jordan in my eyes will always be my “Little Hero”! There’s no other word to describe it other than this!

Unfortunately today, his hair has started to fall out. They warned us of this, but doctors are hopeful it will just thin and not completely fall out due to the amount of radiation he received. I pray that this is true.

On a much happier note, we’ve hit another milestone in Jordan’s Journey. He officially started back to school and is now a big 5th grader! We were a little concerned if he could even finish the first week due do the radiation making him sick but thanks to the nauseous medicine and his determination to be a normal child again, he made it! We are completely blessed to have him at Calimesa Elementary School! Everyone there is wonderful, caring, and nurturing towards Jordan. They are all so happy he’s back!! He has a wonderful teacher (Mrs. Peterson) who is a Christian and texts me bible verses every morning, I love it! (This is great because I need all the encouragement I can get). They really made a week I thought was going to be very difficult quite easy. Tristen also got off to a great start at middle school! This week has been quite a transition for all of us, but in a good way!

A lot of people are asking me if Jordan is still getting chemo. The answer is yes, we have 3 years of maintenance chemo left. This consists of chemo pills daily, chemo in his port once a month which follows with 5 days of steroid pills, and every 3 months we are due in the hospital for spinal taps (along with chemo in his spine on those days).

So… as you see, the road is far from over but it has already begun as well…Jordan’s health is being restored and now Jordan will continue to be strengthen by God’s healing power which brings us the peace we need to fight and to overcome this. When he’s down, I always tell him one of my favorite verses…Phil. 4:13, For I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

And so can you…

SWEET VICTORY!

Hello All! My how time flies when you’re having fun! Summer has sure kept us busy! The days are just flying by. I can’t believe before we know it, the boys will be back in school and yes Jordan is returning and starting the 5th grade and Tristen will be starting middle school.

We actually just got back from vacation at the river, filled with family, fun and lots of laughter. Jordan made up for missing this trip last year and had tons of fun on the boat, tubing and bonding with cousins!

We finally ended the All Star season towards the end of July and ended it with a BANG for Jordan’s team! They did wonderful and had an awesome time! Shawn coached and had an amazing group of kids that won their district title! They were the only team in our division to do so. The team went on after that to represent our district in Sectionals but was eliminated after loosing two games. I thought the boys would be upset but really it seemed they were all relieved and ready to start their summer vacation. None the less…they have so much to be proud of after such a huge accomplishment winning their district! I caught myself tearing up the last game they played as I sat there watching Jordan play...thinking what a SWEET VICTORY it was that he was playing at All Star level! Last season, Jordan had to deal with the fact that only his brother could play wishing he had the strength to play himself. Again…another milestone! Who would have thought Jordan would be where he’s at today! God is so good and has answered all our prayers!

I now have to have the confidence that God will carry us through this next journey in Jordan’s life. I last mentioned we had a consultation in Hollywood to discuss the Cranium Radiation that Jordan is due to get. We actually start this radiation in Ontario on August 4th for 8 days. This is a preventative treatment as T-Cell Leukemia can tend to come back in the brain. The odds of this coming back if we don’t do this treatment is extremely high, so of course we want to do what’s in the best interest to prevent this from coming back. One good thing they tell us is the dose of radiation has significantly lowered in the past few years. So that means fewer risks in side effects.

We had to go in for them to make a mask that molds to his face for treatment in order to help his head from moving during the radiation. The mask will lock down to a bed Jordan is laying on to prevent any movement in his head so the radiation can go only to his brain. They say each treatment should be done within 5 minutes.

To be honest, I really can’t think much about this because fear instantly sets in. As a mother I’m constantly worrying, this whole thing makes me a big ball of nerves. My faith’s for sure going to be tested during this time. I know we’re not the only family battling such illnesses as this, so when I feel this worry come on, I start to pray for all who are battling for their loved ones. My heart aches when I think of what people all around are going through, I do know now first hand we’re not the only ones. With that being said, please join me and my family in prayer as yet another phase in Jordan’s Journey is about to begin. Jordan will need peace of mind as radiation begins in his brain. Also pray for strength in his body and for protection so NO side effects will affect him now and in the years to come.

For I know God has a plan in his life and this is just a small bump in the road to complete recovery and restoration in the innocent life of our child.

Thank you and God's Blessing to all of you and your families!

Living Life

I know it’s been quite some time since I’ve written, but life lately has been extremely busy consisting of baseball, weddings, graduations and then…more baseball! I have found myself saying a lot lately, “That’s ok because we’re living life and a year ago, we weren’t living life”!

Since I last wrote Jordan has spoke at a fundraising dinner for the American Cancer Society and spoke like a pro! His doctor even attended and spoke, she expressed how pleased she was with Jordan’s recovery and talked about how depleted he was when she first saw him. He amazed everyone at the dinner (including us) with his poise as he shared his story and how money raised is so important for research. How important you learn these things are, when it happens to you.

We’ve been to Bakersfield for his cousin graduation, had my niece’s wedding, ended our home school journey with Jordan’s wonderful teacher, attended Tristen’s graduation ceremony for completing the 6th grade and moving on up to middle school, and have attended many baseball games between both boys.

Baseball season with Little League is officially over but I must say…Tristen and Shawn’s team definitely ended on a high note! They had an amazing team who finished 1st place in the regular season with an outstanding 17 wins and only 1 lost. They ended the season with a tournament where they placed 1st and received trophies for both! How very proud I am of them both! What an accomplishment!

Jordan’s team did well, finishing the season in 4th place of 9 teams and ended up in 3rd for the tournament. It was an accomplishment in its self that he even played and did so well! (It was purely his determination because I know his body still has a lot of strength and weight to gain). Which by the way…he finally weights 70 lbs.

Both boys made it for All Stars! Shawn has chosen to coach Jordan’s team. Jordan will be on the 10 year old team and their tournament will take place in Yucaipa and Tristen will be on the 11 year old team, playing his tournament in Yucca Valley. So practices with their new teammates are full steam ahead.

Jordan is due to get “Cranium Radiation” as a preventative treatment for T-cell Leukemia. We have a consultation coming up this Tuesday in Hollywood to discuss and make plans for treatment. I haven’t made mention of this yet because I just wasn’t ready to deal with it and wanted to focus on and enjoy the baseball season. Like the chemo did, the whole radiation thing makes me ill! But we know it’s needed to help keep this sick disease away. I don’t know how he will respond, I don’t know side effects or when this will even take place. All I know is the focus of prayer will need to be to get us through! Jordan especially!

On Jordan’s one year anniversary (May 26th) since his diagnosis, to celebrate we let orange (the leukemia color) balloons go with all his teammates in honor of everyone who has had to fight and endure this type of cancer. After, Jordan wanted Sushi…so we went, which he claims will now be our tradition.

With it being one year, everything takes me back where we were exactly a year ago and emotions take me all over the place. I have found myself doing a lot of reminiscing about long hospital stays, the images of Jordan being on life support, the day he coded and they prepared us for brain damage, Tristen not being able to finish his school year, Jordan learning how to walk, talk and eat again…the list goes on. I think about how a lot of people’s life stopped that day because ours did and really I don’t know how we made it through.

I appreciate the small things in life now, for instance just falling asleep in my own bed, and knowing we are all under the same roof. I appreciate the love and support from family and friends who never left our sides when the only thing that surrounded us seemed to be more and more bad news of despair. Really…we felt our life was over but thanks to our Heavenly Father he had different plans!

I now can share our story of success and how MIRACLES can happen! As a mother, I hope I can be an example to others. Our hearts are always going to be heavy and worry for our children but it’s our job to never let up on our constant battle for them, especially in prayer.

I’ve seen Shawn be the true example of a father whose strength stood strong for his family when we needed him most. I’m in awe of what a large burden he had to carry when all odds seemed against him, when I was so weak and couldn’t even make a decision, he was right there being the backbone of our family, lifting us up, NEVER giving up.

I’ve seen Tristen be a devoted brother that was in his bible daily, praying and crying himself to sleep every night for his brother that he wanted to see come home so badly. And because of our trust and faith in God it happened!

Thank you again for your continued support through prayer and encouragement as we are not done yet, we still are in battle everyday especially with this radiation coming up.

I’ll keep you posted as Jordan’s Journey continues…

Hello All…Jordan is doing really good, baseball is keeping him busy and bringing normalcy back in his life again, which we all welcome! All chemo treatments in and out of the hospital have been going well and his ANC level is currently at 1400.

He is still being home schooled by his wonderful teacher, Patti Smith. When he’s not in school or at baseball, Jordan loves watching every baseball game on the sports channel (yes, even the repeats) and Full House.

Mother’s Day was wonderful because I got to spend it with both of my boys and not just one. I got very emotional that morning…Shawn made me a beautiful breakfast and I got to enjoy it with my WHOLE ENTIRE FAMILY! It’s the small things in life that please me now.

We’ve all been super busy with baseball of course (and yes, Jordan’s passion is still full steam ahead)…which takes up most of our time. There is also a wedding for my niece, Jamie coming up on June 5th and we have a graduation for my other niece, Jessica who lives in Bakersfield (Jordan is super close to her). With all these family events, we wouldn’t have it any other way! This is what life is all about and it sure beats worrying about hospital stays and if Jordan will be super sick from the hard chemo and us not being able to enjoy such events as this!

I’m so happy for Tristen’s baseball team and Shawn as well (who is the manager)…they are having a GREAT season! I thought there for a while that they would go undefeated but they finally had their 1st lost on game 13. They all handled it very well and didn’t even hang their heads much which pleased me because really…they’ve had an awesome season. The regular season will be over at the end of May and end off with a tournament.

Jordan’s team is doing well. They’ve had some loses but still are ranked middle of the pack. He’s pretty much come to terms that he’s on a Dodger team and not the Angles.

Tonight Jordan is speaking at a fundraising dinner where all proceeds will go to the American Cancer Society. This will be a first for us but now is so near and dear to our hearts.

With the year anniversary of Jordan’s diagnosis coming up at the end of this month, we’ve been going back to where we were a year ago. Little did we know what was around the corner…how thankful we are to say the least! I will share more thoughts about this at it draws near. My thoughts have been all over the place…

All I know is…I’m so happy we serve a God that is bigger than any obstacle, circumstance, or sickness that may come our way!

Well…it’s been quite a while since the last update, guess you can say we’ve been super busy. Yes with baseball, which is always a treat but more so, we’ve been busy with the boys being sick! I actually can’t believe it!

Last Monday night through Tuesday we were in the hospital for Jordan because he had a crazy cough with a fever. A chest x-ray revealed it was bronchitis, thankfully a mild case. With his counts being pretty good and considering he’s on a lighter chemo now, they didn’t make us stay too long. The doctors know we despise being there! We came home on some antibiotics and Jordan is doing much better!

Tristen, on the other hand, well…he’s a different story. He finally recovered after two long weeks from that horrid bacteria infection but it did take some time for him to bounce back and to put some weight on and for him to not look so green in the gills. He finally was able to start the baseball season with his team and is having a wonderful start to the season. BUT, last week he woke up with a fever, sore throat, and a stuffy nose! I can’t believe it…the kid was just sick!! So, we have him at Grandma Judy’s to keep any germs away from Jordan (who is recovering from the bronchitis) and hope whatever Tristen has is over much sooner than the last sickness he had just a few weeks ago!

Needless to say, we are very frustrated and just don’t get it! We take every precaution necessary for the boys and us to not get any germs. I find myself saying lately, “When are we going to catch a break!?” But then instantly, I tell myself, we did catch that break…my son is here and the Leukemia is gone! Then I go right into counting my blessings. Not a lot of parents are able to say that when their kids have been so seriously sick. So I thank God for what we do have rather than focusing on the inconvenience we are experiencing for that moment. I must say though…I would so love a break from sickness right now! We’ve had enough!!

Jordan was due to have his spinal tap Monday, (the spinal will be every three months on the maintenance phase) but they are postponing it for a week and stopping all chemo pills until he fully recovers from the bronchitis. Which is fine by me, it puts off another hospital stay! On a much happier note, Jordan’s friend, Jared and his family blessed us with Angel tickets a couple of Fridays ago. The four of us were able to go together and really enjoyed ourselves. The seats were really good…field level and right up the first base line. Tristen and Jordan even made an Angles sign hoping it would bring them good luck but…they didn’t win.

Their Friday night firework show was pretty cool. During the fireworks they played many songs and one of them was their theme song for the Angels which is, “Calling All Angels” by Train and ironically we have that same song on the blog as one of Jordan’s theme songs…when it played, I got a huge lump in my throat and got totally choked up as I sat their next to Jordan watching the fireworks. Thankfully, the lights were out and no one saw me tearing up! It was a wonderful night none the less, so thank you Wagner Family for a fun evening!! We really appreciate it! Jordan also got to use a gift card in the store and bought some fun stuff to finish decorating his room in Angel’s Baseball.

All in all, Jordan is pretty good. He’s playing baseball (with the same passion, sometimes too much passion), gaining weight (slowly but surely) and his hair is coming in beautifully (maybe even a tad lighter). I really couldn’t ask for more. Today, he was talking and joking with me in the car and it brought me back to the old Jordan that I remember. I love it!

I want to end with…I’m so completely taken by how Awesome our Heavenly Father is and how he knows exactly what we need! Even though we go through trials and tribulations, His Grace is more than enough and he will get us through each day!

Hello All…Jordan is doing so well! His first game was last Saturday and it was also Opening Ceremonies. A pretty special Opening Day Ceremonies!!

Shawn and Jordan got to get up and speak to the crowd, thanking them for supporting us during this difficult journey. Shawn gave a brief rundown of what we’ve endured during these last 10 months. There were many excited cheers for Jordan being on the field as he stood there next to his dad. It was quit emotional. Jordan, himself couldn’t even hold back the tears when his dad announced that Jordan would actually be playing a game that day. Jordan got to thank everyone for their prayers, stating that it was because of all the prayers that he was standing there at that moment. So many people came up to us expressing their joy for Jordan and our family that day. But someone really stuck out in Shawn’s mind and that was an ICU nurse from Loma Linda that actually took care of Jordan at his worse when he was on life support. She was so full of emotion she could hardly talk. Shawn said tears were just rolling down her face and she kept saying, “It’s a Miracle, he looks so good”! She couldn’t wait to go back and tell everyone she works with about Jordan doing so great. I didn’t get to meet her on Saturday and hope Shawn can point her out to me so I can personally thank her for taking such good care of my son. I’m so appreciative to each and every nurse that spent their 12 hour back breaking shift taking care of Jordan!
Jordan did awesome at his game! He played short stop, 1st base and pitcher. When he pitched, it was the last inning…he came in and closed the game. I got so nervous for him, I gave myself heartburn! But there was no need for me to worry. He came in and struck 3 batters out with no runs scored! He did wonderfully!! Shawn got to help coach and it was a great game! It was such a gratifying moment for Shawn and me! Not to mention, many fans came out to support Jordan that day!

Unfortunately, Tristen was still super sick the day of all this. He was unable to attend Opening Ceremonies, Jordan’s first game, and even his own game. He was very upset and sad that he had to miss this…he knew what a big deal it was for Jordan.

Tristen is still sick and having a real tough time with a stomach flu that has turned into a bacterial infection. As of right now, we are on day 11 of him being sick; he has lost weight and has not returned to school. We were at the doctors on Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday of last week. They wanted to admit him into the hospital for observation on Friday but thankfully no beds were available. So an IV was started for dehydration at the doctor’s office. They have done many tests on him including lots of blood work and have determined by his white blood count that there is definitely an infection brewing. He tested negative for parasites and E coli, along with many other sicknesses. It has been very frustrating for all of us and I have to agree with my friend that made the comment, we need a “Free pass card from sickness for a year”! But…I just count my blessing and hope and pray that tomorrow will be a new day and soon this sickness with Tristen will be behind us. Prayers sent for Tristen are needed at this time; he’s getting weary and doesn’t understand why he has been sick for so long. I don’t blame the poor kid, he’s already seen so much with Jordan and now he’s deathly afraid of anything having to do with doctors.

When things like this happen I just put my trust in God and surrender all to him. I place my children at the feet of Jesus, knowing he can handle more than us. I always say…when we are weak, he is Strong!

Gods Blessing to you all on this very special holiday…Easter!

Baseball Begins…

Hello All and Thank You for continuing to follow Jordan Journey’s. I want to make mention that we love reading all your comments and are so appreciative for all the encouraging words, so please keep them coming, it helps in more ways than you know!

Yesterday, Jordan had his monthly chemo at the doctor’s office and I’m proud to announce he weights 65 lbs. His counts are at a pretty good level, for those of you who know what an ANC level is, it is at 1685. They tell me anything over 1000 means he still has some fighting cells left in him to fight off infections. I’m pretty sure his counts should stay around this number throughout the maintenance phase, but anything’s possible and they could change at any moment. His counts are still nowhere near where the normal child should be at so we will keep a watchful eye on him, of course.

He still is on a hospital home-school program and I must say, he’s very anxious to be back in school but his teacher, myself, and his dad have other thoughts as far as that is concerned. We’re all thinking for sure next school year, but if Jordan had it his way…it would be now.

Jordan is still very excited to be playing ball and has not missed a practice yet. His first game is this Saturday, he’s so eager, he can taste it!! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it! He’s come such a long way since that dreaded day back in May. To think…he’s a kid that had to learn to walk, hold his head up, talk, and learn to swallow again and now…he’s playing baseball (which he’s pretty good at)! It’s a dream come true!! I’m constantly thanking my lucky stars!

Sadly his big bro, Tristen has been so sick with the stomach flu since last Friday which means he’s had to miss out on a couple scrimmage games this week. Tristen’s first game is this Saturday as well, we really hope his strength is up by than so he can start the season. Plus, it’s just not the same for Shawn when he’s coaching and his son’s not there. Thankfully, none of us have come down with it. Jordan’s been a little bummed because his Christmas break was ruined because of all the aggressive chemo he was on at the time and he was really looking forward to an eventful spring break but with Tristen being sick, it’s put a bit of a damper on things.

In any event, we are delighted with where things stand with Jordan and are so excited to be hitting another milestone with him being able to play baseball again.

God is good and He hears our prayers! Thank you Lord for shinning your light on us…

Happier Days...

Greetings to all! Jordan is doing great on the maintenance phase! This has been the break we have all been waiting for! I know now what they meant when they said, “hang in there, things are so much easier on the maintenance phase.” Jordan appears to be getting stronger and stronger each day. Although his weight is not coming on as fast as we would like, due to him being more active I think it’s slowing the process down.

We recently had the pleasure of taking family photos up in Crestline. The pictures say so many words, with much meaning behind our smiles. They represent enduring and suffering while on a rather difficult road that at times seemed unimaginable, but at the same time our smiles represent where great will and determination can lead you. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud to take a family picture as I was on this day.

I am so excited to tell you all that Jordan got the green light from his doctors to play ball! He actually went to his first practice on Tuesday and he could not have been more thrilled! He anticipated it all day and hoped so bad that it would not get rained out. When it was finally time to leave, Tristen and I were first in the car waiting on Jordan and when he finally jumped in, he had the hugest smile on his face and proudly announced, “I’M GOING TO PRACTICE!” and when he went, you wouldn’t even of noticed that he had been so sick (with the exception of his running, he needs a bit more muscle to get where he was). But nevertheless, he seems to be the baseball player that we all remember.

I found it fitting on that day as we drove to the field to pray with the boys, just thanking God to allow this moment for Jordan and for allowing Jordan to be thriving and living life again...what an answer to our prayers! That day brought such satisfaction to us and Jordan finally seemed like a normal 10 year old again.

Our Pastor always says our life's are like seasons…just like we have fall, winter, spring, and summer…we’re going to have those different seasons in our own personal lives and those seasons will eventually end, giving us something new to focus on. Unfortunately, some seasons seem longer than others but let me tell you my friends…our family is well on its way of starting another season, one that is so needed with nothing but great expectations to come.

Thanks to all of you that follow Jordan’s Journey, may it be an example of determination, strength, and will to keep fighting the good fight…

Day by Day...

I know its been awhile since the last update, I guess you can say, it took us a bit of time to bounce back from some hard times (mentally).

First off I would like to say, thank you for the encouraging comments. We all really need to hear words like that, so thank you very much, I read each and everyone of them. It's obvious to us now that the physical battle has seemed to be won, but now it appears mentally...things can be challenging for us. That's when we really need those prayers, so please keep them coming.

The weekend of Shawn's birthday, a fever that we thought may keep us home never rose high enough to put us in the hospital. Thankfully, God had other plans for us! We were able to go ahead with our plans for the weekend and head to San Diego. It was more than needed! There is a wonderful lady that gets her hair done at my sister's shop, named Patricia who has cancer herself and has really taken to Jordan's story, so she actually blessed us and because of her we were able to get away for a much deserved weekend get-a-way! We took the boys to Supercross (you see...they have two passions...baseball and motorcycle riding)! We actually went into the pits and they got to get pictures and autographs of some of their favorite riders. Supercross was a success and the rain didn't even ruin it! Jordan also got to go swimming for the first time in a heated pool (because he has a port now). He was like a fish out of water! Again...another milestone moment for us! The time away was so needed, we were actually able to enjoy life outside of hospitals, doctors offices, and always being at home, but mostly just to simply...BREATHE. It lifted our spirits more than you know for all of us!

The last time we had Jordan's counts checked, about a week an a half ago, they were on the rise. We are due back this Monday for the once a month light chemo through his port and I'm sure his counts will be checked again. I'm hoping they will be even higher at this time. What does concern me, is where they will be about two weeks after this chemo that is due on Monday because there is a chance they could come down again and we don't want that. The beginning of the maintenance phase is somewhat of a roller coaster and it will take some time to regulate his medicine in order to get the counts were we want them to be. I can happily say that Jordan appears to be getting stronger everyday. All he needed was some time to see that yes...there is life after this nightmare he has been living. In fact, we all needed to see it! Also, what we're seeing is hair, it's coming back and this pleases him tremendously!! He always took such pride in his hair, I don't think it can grow back fast enough for him.

We also have the start of Little League season upon us, which as you all know gives us much joy. Shawn will actually be managing Tristen's team in the Major division this year, which will give us something new to focus on. To much of our amazement it appears Jordan will be playing as well (pending a doctor's approval of course). We figured it would of been more towards the middle of the season but no...we figured wrong. He is more than ready!! He plays all the time with Tristen. His heart and mind are totally focused on baseball right now. He may not start off the strongest but I'm convinced, its just a matter of time that he'll be playing up to par and we'll be seeing that attitude out on the ball field that drove us so crazy! You see, he plays with heart and sometimes that shows out on the field (whether we like it or not), but you know...it's that feisty attitude that won his life back! And now it's that feisty attitude and determination that will allow him to play ball again, just bringing him one step closer to regaining his life back!!

I often find myself feeling like how a new mother would feel watching her newborn baby. I look at him and appreciate his life so much more now. Him being able to eat, laugh, and play with his brother does not go unnoticed anymore. Just to lay entangled with him on the couch and to feel the softness of his skin, to rub his ear lobes, to see the fullness of his lips, to run my check against his new hair growing in...that's what fills me up. I know now how precious life is and I'm constantly thanking God for allowing us stay a family of four.

It's still a day by day thing with us, but I do feel it's getting easier and on those days that aren't so good...I'll be looking forward to the next day when we wake up and Gods Mercy and Grace will be new again!! That's what keeps us going...